My husband & I are both in our 30s. We have been married 13 years & have two children. We were both virgins when we married and have never had sex with anyone else. Because we were raised in rigid catholic families, we used the rhythm method of birth control until three years ago, when we decided to make a complete break with our past & get my husband a vasectomy.
We made love so seldom in our first 10 years of marriage that we knew we would not achieve instant sexual ecstasy. Everything was progressing fairly well until a year ago when I discovered masturbation. In just a few weeks I became adept at bringing myself off by hand.
Although it took me 45 minutes to reach orgasm, I was so thrilled at being able to climax at all that I didn't mind the time. I bought a vibrator, which increased my pleasure.
One night I decided to show my husband the vibrator & tell him about everything I had been doing. I wanted to use the vibrator as part of intercourse, and wanted him to get used to the idea. He became extremely upset, taking it as a slur against his manhood. To quote him "The vibrator could do in an hour what he couldn't do in 13 years."
Our lovemaking fell off from 3 times a week, to once every 2 weeks. One of my dreams is to climax from cunnilingus- though I can't really blame my husband for not wanting to eat me out for too long.
The strange thing is, I believe my husband really loves me, but it is difficult for me to understand how you can love someone and not want to screw them.
What can I do?- Name & address withheld.
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